My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sext me about skeletons
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
