Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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