At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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