HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize