well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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