I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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