New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize