His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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