I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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