No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
