maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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