Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
