I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
