Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize