btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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