batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
