somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
