they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
