So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
