areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize