guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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