why didn't you poke me back
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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