you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
