the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize