Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
