Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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