yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
