hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
