Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
