Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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