Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He felt like a one man threesome
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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