Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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