In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
