About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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