either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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