OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
