you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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