Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I look better un-naked...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize