ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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