he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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