can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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