you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?