can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
