What a fucking waste of an outfit
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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