i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
