Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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  (847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx
  Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (2554)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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  (773): will power is for people who don't want to get laid http://tfl.nu/uala
  Replies (22) Good night (4003) Bad night (761)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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  (678): nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women http://tfl.nu/ny5s
  Replies (11) Good night (4855) Bad night (2878)
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  (714): View more from California

  i perioded on his leg

  (714): View more from California

  on. his. leg.

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  (714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m
  Replies (49) Good night (1093) Bad night (10623)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.

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  (248): the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks. http://tfl.nu/qak2
  Replies (10) Good night (929) Bad night (8479)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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  (774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x
  Replies (27) Good night (11628) Bad night (1227)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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  (215): A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts. http://tfl.nu/gdkg
  Replies (20) Good night (4222) Bad night (1049)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.

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  (757): Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns. http://tfl.nu/p6ls
  Replies (7) Good night (1006) Bad night (1695)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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  (918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi
  Replies (7) Good night (1352) Bad night (738)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.

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  (313): They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks. http://tfl.nu/knfo
  Replies (4) Good night (2294) Bad night (870)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder

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  (561): I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder http://tfl.nu/ihwc
  Replies (1) Good night (1176) Bad night (463)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

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  (804): Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body! http://tfl.nu/7w2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.

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  (813): Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick. http://tfl.nu/1ytv
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (266)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning

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  (336): Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning http://tfl.nu/wjev
  Replies (4) Good night (319) Bad night (739)

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