He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.