Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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