girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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