obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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