I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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