Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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