Yo dont text me then not text me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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