It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
