Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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