Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
