gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
