my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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