her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
