his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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