That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
