Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
