ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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