It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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