A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
