The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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