I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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